I had an eye-opening weekend, this weekend. I realized that I do have a child who is a toddler, a boyfriend with whom I have been with for 7 years that I am very dearly fond of, my health that I need to keep a better tab on, amazing yet crazy "in-laws" that I can't control nor can I change - and that I am OK with that.
1) This weekend my daughter, Lucy, made me realize that she is growing up at an alarming rate. Before this weekend, I was pretty sure I had the "perfect daughter"...but I now realize, she isn't perfect and she is growing up very fast into a toddler. You know, the toddlers you here about that cry and scream for no reason at all? Ya, that was my Lucy this weekend. I felt so helpless! It was probably the worst feeling I've ever been consumed with. In this new year I will vow to let her throw her tantrums when it (if it happens) happens and take a breath. Stand up. And think and pray to myself that this too shall be over as fast as it happened.
2) Wade and I have been together for 7 years....8 years in May of next year. We've had our fair share of ups and downs, just like any relationship - but NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING can compare to what a child does to your relationship. The whole experience puts a big "swoosh" to your relationship. That swoosh I'm talking about is kind of like a wind gust that wipes everything you two once had to "nothing matters anymore except your child". That's not right and that's not fair. I've learned in the past week or so that I need to spent as much time on Wade as I do with Lucy and give him the same affection as I do Lucy (only in an adult way, of course...wink wink). I think that when (see above) a child has an episode as we did above on Saturday - it puts an extreme strain on your relationship and you end up being even more miserable than you were when your daughter or son is throwing a fit on the ground - crying and won't stop. In this next year, I vow to make a day/night every month that just consists of us - being together - just the two of us, the way it used to be...if only for a couple hours, I'm OK with that. Its important.
3) Oh boy have I slacked on my body image!!! I can recall the days where I was a size 2-4 and so in shape!! (Actually I can't recall them, I think I just blocked that part of my life out of my head b/c frankly it's just too depressing to think about)
The window is about to go down on what I call the - post baby slackness. Its been over a year since I had Lucy and it's officially time to get my body back to at least a respectable image where I don't feel so insecure to show my body to my best friend and lover, Wade. (HA!)
With recent light of (sigh) Britney Murphy's death at Age 32. I've decided I do not want to end up dead at 32. I have a daughter to think about!! I want to be the best mommy I can be until I grow old!! This is ridiculous that I've let my body go THIS far. It's absolutely disgusting!!
So in the new year, I vow to get back to at least a size 6. I can do that!! Piece of cake (minus the cake, of course)!
4) I have an amazing bunch of in laws. They are chaotic, messy, absurdly vulgar - yet - so unbelievably loving, caring - would do anything for anyone, selflessness and would put anything above and beyond their needs for you. I can not explain you to them unless you meet them. They are one of a kind and I love each and everyone of them for excepting me into their family every day. I vow to become more patient with each and everyone of them this year. To keep an open mind about their problems, their flaws, their uniqueness. I'm truly blessed to have all of them as my "Arizona family".
It was a tough weekend but I'm glad it happened. I needed it to happen. I'm a better person today because of this weekend. It was hell, but it was all worth it.
Happy Christmas and Merry New Year to you and your crazy families! Always remember just how truly blessed we all are!!